Male Emancipation & Connected Masculinity

Foreword

This is just a beginning and I will revise and re-write this text over time. But for me as a straight man who is deeply connected to his emotions, it is about time to change the debate and especially the language around the conversation on masculinity. First we have to agree that not only women but also many men have been victims of patriarchy and it’s mechanisms. The result of this is what we describe toxic masculinity nowadays. But by using this term we focus on the problem but not a solution. With the introduction of the term “Connected Masculinity” I want to change the perspective on a critical topic and give everyone a way to talk in a constructive and productive way about an issue that has been poisoning our society and communities from within.

The term "toxic masculinity" has been widely used to describe traditional masculine norms and behaviors that are harmful to both men and women. However, rather than simply labelling certain forms of masculinity as "toxic," it may be more helpful to reframe the issue in a more positive light. By using the term "disconnected masculinity" to describe traditional masculine norms that are unhealthy or unbalanced, and "connected masculinity" to describe an aspirational, more healthy and balanced form of masculinity, we can shift the focus from blame and shame to one of growth and improvement.

Connected Masculinity is about being in touch with one's own emotions, being able to communicate and express them in a healthy and authentic way, and furthermore being able to recognize and understand the emotions of others. It is about embracing sensuality, sensitivity and pleasure, and about being open to learning and personal growth.

Already in a 1934 issue of “The Atlantic” the author Pringle Barret advocates for the emancipation of men:

What really is difficult is the situation of many a boy — to start ahead of the game and then gradually wake up to the fact that somehow or other everybody expects him to stay ahead. It becomes intolerable when he realizes deep down in his inmost being that he hasn’t the ghost of a chance. The boy’s superiority is proclaimed at birth, and the rest of his life he is under the responsibility of living up to it, even though he may not have the ability to do so. It is much easier to be able to say with the girl, ‘They don’t expect anything of me. Wouldn’t it astonish them if I really did something!’ than to have to say with the boy, ‘They insist on my being superior to half the rest of the world. How in heaven’s name can I do it?’

I have this vision of masculinity that is flexible, open, and inclusive, and that promotes well-being and happiness for all. Let us explore what connected masculinity looks like and how it can be cultivated in individuals and in our culture as a whole.

xx,
David

A vision for male emancipation and connected masculinity as a goal.

Connected masculinity involves being attuned to one's own emotions, being able to communicate and express them in a healthy manner, and being able to recognize and understand the emotions of others. It encompasses embracing one's sensuality and not shying away from experiencing and expressing a range of emotions, such as love, joy, and passion. Additionally, it involves being open to learning and personal growth, as well as challenging traditional masculine norms when they are harmful or unhealthy.

At its essence, connected masculinity is about moving away from toxic masculinity that has been imposed upon us by society and adopting something healthier and more balanced. It is about breaking free from rigid gender roles and expectations and defining one's own path and identity. It involves being more open and inclusive, and embracing a more flexible and authentic version of masculinity.

The movement for male emancipation, which seeks to promote gender equality and to challenge traditional masculine norms and expectations, could embrace connected masculinity as a key goal since it recognizes that traditional masculine roles and expectations can be harmful not only to women, but also to men themselves. These roles can limit men's ability to express their emotions and to form genuine, authentic relationships, and they can also contribute to men's physical and mental health problems. By promoting connected masculinity, the male emancipation movement seeks to create a more inclusive and equitable society for all.

So, what does connected masculinity look like in practice?

It involves being able to communicate openly and honestly about one's feelings and being able to form and maintain healthy relationships. It involves being able to recognize and respect the emotions and needs of others and being able to exhibit empathy and understanding. It involves being self-aware and open to personal growth, and being willing to challenge one's own beliefs.

Connected masculinity also involves acknowledging and challenging traditional masculine roles and expectations that are harmful or unhealthy. This may mean questioning the need for men to be constantly "strong" and in control, or challenging the idea that men should always be the breadwinners or the leaders. It may also involve recognizing the importance of men being able to show vulnerability and to seek help when needed. By breaking free from these traditional roles and expectations, men can create a more authentic and fulfilling life for themselves.

Of course, it is not always easy to cultivate connected masculinity, especially when we have been conditioned to believe that traditional masculine norms are the only way to be a "real man." However, there are numerous role models who can demonstrate an alternative path. These role models may be friends, family members, teachers, or community leaders – anyone who embodies the values of connected masculinity and can assist in our personal growth and development in healthy ways.

To embrace connected masculinity, one might consider working on their emotional intelligence, practicing vulnerability, embracing sensuality and pleasure, and being open to learning and personal growth. By doing so, not only can one's own well-being and happiness be improved, but a more positive and inclusive culture can be cultivated for everyone. Therefore, it may be worthwhile to give connected masculinity a try.

As the male emancipation movement continues to grow and evolve, it is important to remember that connected masculinity is not about creating a new set of rigid roles or expectations for men. Rather, it is about creating a more inclusive and equitable society where all people, regardless of gender, are able to express themselves authentically and to live fulfilling lives. By promoting connected masculinity, we can create a better world for everyone.